My Incoherent Ramblings (Pt. 2)
-My Thoughts on 5D's-

Well, I'll be damned, three minutes into the show and I already despise its guts. However, this was until I heard the most underwhelming excuse of a theme song ever. However, expecting mass amounts of rock and ass-rulery out of a Visual Kei band is like expecting peanut butter out of a mayonnaise jar, so I won't fault the show for that (although, I secretly will.) Oh, and the ending was horrible too, so let me just say that now so I don't forget about it later. (Maybe it's just that they follow Psychic Lover and fucking Hiroshi fucking Kitadani. That's like following Hironobu Kageyama with one-legged singing circus clowns.)

So, now that I'm done bitching and moaning about the opening and ending, let me say something about the actual episode. First it starts off with Mr. JACK ATLAS ("I'm da King! LOLOLOLOL") and his mono-wheel dildo bike dueling what seems to be a reject out of The Road Warrior 2 which involves them activating their Field Spell (Speed World, it's what they use to Riding Duel, apparently) while the funny-voice MC explains the ridiculous rules of the Riding Duel that make no sense. Blah, blah, blah, we're treated to the main cast of ragtag vagabonds watching TV, some girl (Rally) with Phoenix Wright's hat and Olga Orly's hairstyle comes in and gives Mr. Stoic Badass (aka. Mr. Kenshiro Wannabe) Yusei a chip for his extremely phallic dueling monstrosity which broke down as he was casually crusading the streets for some unknown reason, Ushio and the others bust in ('sup criminals :D',) yada yada yada, duel begins and I fall asleep, so basically 5D's has gone far and beyond my expectations.

Oh, and the music for the actual episode sucked as well. It sounds like it was mixed straight out of Mike Egon's basement and shipped over to Japan where Mike Egon's Japanese relative added some more synthesized drums to give it that extra "flava." There was one track that sounded sort of all right, but the rest of the time, it was unneeded background noise. I'd lol if this music is replaced in the Eng version because this sounds exactly like something they would come up with. You can't make bad music worse, you just make yourself look stupid.

Well, anyway, that's basically it. The first episode seemed like a big steamy pile of Cream O' Wheat and I can already imagine what future episodes have in store. Two things I can say, though. The animation was quite nice (except when everything runs through the Tron-filter and my eyes start trying to force themselves out of my skull,) and, at least in the next episode they are dueling on solid land...so maybe my detest can finally quell to a moderate level.

Oh, and nice Nazca lines, 5D's. Are we finally giving the South American's their push out into the YGO limelight? It's not like you've convoluted the base storyline enough with your asshat'ery *COUGH*DOMA*COUGH*

Edit: WSJ has confirmed Rally, the little girl...err...emm...yeah, is actually a boy. Weird shit, Yugioh...Weird, weird shit...